when i was little i actually questioned why girls were supposed to cross their legs and when i was told “because boys will look up your skirt” i said “then tell boys not to look up our skirts” and my grandma got really angry with me but my uncle thought i was great and gave me a high five
i fell in love with the girl at the rock show
she said “what”
and i said “whAT”
and she said “i can’t hEAR YOU THE MUSIC’S TOO LOUD”
and i said “WHAT”
Sometimes when I’m singing that song, when it says “stay seventeen”, I say “stay seventy”. And you guys don’t even know the difference because it sounds the same, but inside I’m laughing, because I’m singing about grandparents.
the thing about the fault in our stars trailer is that when augustus’ dialogue from the book is actually said out loud by an actual person you begin to realize that he sounds like a complete douchelord
when white boys make fun of girls getting drunk im kinda just like but have you seen white boys wasted. they start rapping and whispering into girls necks and start yelling racist shit to people on the street. when girls get wasted it just means we’re all super nice to each other in the bathroom and dance to beyonce
I have met so many nice drunk girls in bathrooms
Let’s play a fun game called “we’re just friends but I’d fuck you if you asked”
on a scale from A Day to Remember to All Time Low how much do you like your hometown
- Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
- Cashier: Are you 18?
- Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.